As everyone who reads this blog is already aware, I’ve gotten back into painting. I stuck my toe back into it tepidly, using small 3x5 inch canvases and continuing with acrylics. Acrylics are an excellent choice for new painters for several reasons: they are relatively inexpensive, dry fast, provide a “depth” unlike water colors, and are water soluble. I’ve never worked with any other type of paint except acrylics, but wanted to move to oil paints for a number of reasons, but I have to admit the main reason is that they are considered the “artist” paints – you aren’t considered a painter until you paint in oil.
I assume this is because oil paint itself stinks, the mixers stink even more, and the cleaning solutions stink the most. It’s the smell that makes a true artist… either that or that you inevitably end up with paint on your hands and cloths that no amount of turpentine will remove. I don’t have a dedicated artist’s studio, unless you count my dining room table as a studio, so painting in oils would really allow the olfactory sensors to kick into high gear throughout my house.
Still, the allure of being a real artist is like a siren call that can’t be resisted. I trudged off to the local art supply store a few months ago with a list of paints to purchase. After returning home with a shocking $150 receipt I discovered the following: oil paints aren’t cheap, they require a bunch of additional supplies (linseed oil, turpentine, etc) that acrylics don’t require, and it’s true they do smell to high heaven. Smell as in close the windows, paint for a half hour and you’ll be as high as you used to get in high school. I now understand why artists are crazy… it’s not from the emotional rollercoaster the artwork takes you down, but the fumes. Oils and I didn’t make it for even a small finished painting; however I did feel awfully silly the rest of that day.
Since I wanted to be buried with both my ears attached, unlike Van Gogh, I needed an alternative. After scouring the internet for what seemed like hours on end (but actually took only a couple minutes – most of the time filled by waiting for my PC to boot up) I discovered a new type of oil paint – water soluble. New is relative but apt; water soluble oil paints have only existed for mere decades unlike when the great masters transitioned from egg tempura to oil around 1500.
Off to the art store again, and another $150 for new paints. Best $150 I’ve spent all year, not counting the plaid pants I bought at Overstock of course. Those are some sweet pants, I have to say… I might even make a painting of them.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Working out is hard work!
Given the title of the post, I imagine you're thinking that getting healthy is hard due to... well, working out. Not exactly...
My new employer has an incredible workout facility which has state-of-the-art equipment including video StairMasters and those walk-a-thons that allow you to stroll in place rather down a trail in the park or around a pond. It also has free-weights and those weight machines that target that one part of the body you didn't know needed to be exercised.
It's also free, usually empty, and has the several on-sight trainers that will teach you why you need to use that machine to exercise that one muscle you didn't know existed. I'm one who thinks working out with co-workers is just a little too odd, but I've gone down at various times of the day, including morning, lunch and late afternoon and it's dead empty except for the trainers who seem marginally happy to see me when they they look up from browsing the Internet and realize I'm just there to check out the gym.
Today I decided to go for the deep dive... eating healthy AND working out. It starts off well by going down to the company cafeteria and getting a healthy oatmeal breakfast and OJ followed by a lunch of salad with a side of fruit. Both were quite filling, definitely tasty and (slightly) subsidized by the company - thanks boss! I go down to the gym around 2:00 (I ate quickly to make up for the gym time... really... no really... no, really I'm serious) to continue on my journey of healthiness.
Apparently there are forms to fill out to get healthy... three of them to be exact. One is a general three pager on my physical condition (does future state count?), my goals (see future state), my eating habits (I'm starting with today), any medications I'm on (none), and which body-building competitions I'm competed in for the last five years (no comment).
The second form was approval from my doctor to participate in the company-required evaluation by the trainers... I'm guessing it's their way of making sure they can't be sued if I keel over and die from walking on a treadmill for five minutes while being evaluated. On the plus side, I think this opens up a potential lawsuit for the doctor who signed it.
Finally the last form is approval from my supervisor to use the facility. I am a little perplexed by this one - why would my boss need to approve me getting healthy? I'm also not sure who signed the CEOs form, although he might still be getting his doctors approval to be tested by the trainers for all I know.
In any event I now understand why the gym is empty...
My new employer has an incredible workout facility which has state-of-the-art equipment including video StairMasters and those walk-a-thons that allow you to stroll in place rather down a trail in the park or around a pond. It also has free-weights and those weight machines that target that one part of the body you didn't know needed to be exercised.
It's also free, usually empty, and has the several on-sight trainers that will teach you why you need to use that machine to exercise that one muscle you didn't know existed. I'm one who thinks working out with co-workers is just a little too odd, but I've gone down at various times of the day, including morning, lunch and late afternoon and it's dead empty except for the trainers who seem marginally happy to see me when they they look up from browsing the Internet and realize I'm just there to check out the gym.
Today I decided to go for the deep dive... eating healthy AND working out. It starts off well by going down to the company cafeteria and getting a healthy oatmeal breakfast and OJ followed by a lunch of salad with a side of fruit. Both were quite filling, definitely tasty and (slightly) subsidized by the company - thanks boss! I go down to the gym around 2:00 (I ate quickly to make up for the gym time... really... no really... no, really I'm serious) to continue on my journey of healthiness.
Apparently there are forms to fill out to get healthy... three of them to be exact. One is a general three pager on my physical condition (does future state count?), my goals (see future state), my eating habits (I'm starting with today), any medications I'm on (none), and which body-building competitions I'm competed in for the last five years (no comment).
The second form was approval from my doctor to participate in the company-required evaluation by the trainers... I'm guessing it's their way of making sure they can't be sued if I keel over and die from walking on a treadmill for five minutes while being evaluated. On the plus side, I think this opens up a potential lawsuit for the doctor who signed it.
Finally the last form is approval from my supervisor to use the facility. I am a little perplexed by this one - why would my boss need to approve me getting healthy? I'm also not sure who signed the CEOs form, although he might still be getting his doctors approval to be tested by the trainers for all I know.
In any event I now understand why the gym is empty...
Saturday, March 27, 2010
What You Really Mean
As most / all of you know I'm starting a new job on Monday. The marketing genius's at NiMA sent me clever packet of notices I can display on my desk to let my co-workers know my status. Now granted, I have no issues letting them know where I'm at, but it's rare that any of these statuses would convey what I actually want to say.
So for my new co-workers, when you see the status on the left, know I'm actually thinking what is on the right.
So for my new co-workers, when you see the status on the left, know I'm actually thinking what is on the right.
And finally my personal favorite...
Note: no bunnies were hurt during the production of the photographs except Oscar, the bunny pictured in the photos above. Sorry about that Oscar...
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The Greatest Day Ever
Today is my birthday, or so my mother tells me. I don't have reason to not believe her, but I also don't have any actual proof or recollection of the actual event. Don't get me wrong... there's nothing wrong with March 25th. I share something with many of the great people in history including Howard Cosell, Julius Ceaser (the famous cricketer from the 1850s, not the Roman emperor or inventor of the best salad ever), and of course who could forget that Henry II. Ah yes - Henry II, the first king to call himself King of England as opposed to King of the English. Sure he was born in France, but that's a detail which I'm sure any good person who calls themselves British ignores.
There have been calls... well emails... okay okay, a comment in one of my posts below from my sister who apparently can't spell, to write a post for today. I can't be bothered though, as I'm spending today thinking about myself, reflecting on my accomplishments and generally basking in the light of "myselfness" (copyright me, 2010). Oh, and enjoying the Calphalon sauce pan that very same sister sent me as a present.
And I might add that today, in celebration of myself, I decided to reward myself by following my own blog. Grats me!
Today, after all, is the greatest day ever.
There have been calls... well emails... okay okay, a comment in one of my posts below from my sister who apparently can't spell, to write a post for today. I can't be bothered though, as I'm spending today thinking about myself, reflecting on my accomplishments and generally basking in the light of "myselfness" (copyright me, 2010). Oh, and enjoying the Calphalon sauce pan that very same sister sent me as a present.
And I might add that today, in celebration of myself, I decided to reward myself by following my own blog. Grats me!
Today, after all, is the greatest day ever.
Monday, March 22, 2010
New Beginnings
My sister Jill sent me an email letting me know I broke my promise of daily blog posts. I don't recall even hinting at that, but we both know I have the world’s worst memory. She could tell me I promised to babysit the twins for the next year while she and her husband travelled the world and I'd have choice but to accept that I probably did say that and go to the grocery store to stock up on Lucky Charms and peanut butter for the long haul.
I have a big break-out post, the post that will be renown throughout the interwebs as the blog post for which all other posts will be judged. Unfortunately I haven't started it yet. To bridge the gap and at least make it a weekly blog I present you with big news about me - as the blog Narcissistic Musings should.
As all three or four of you who read my blog (I have to artificially pump up the numbers for the advertisers) already know, I'm switching jobs starting next Monday. I'll be working at BP, a large energy company (4th largest in the world to be precise) in their trading division. They are starting an IT team in the Financial Products trading group which trades derivatives to hedge against existing trades made by other trading groups.
As many of you may recall, derivatives are what made the world go boom last year, however the types of trades this group does are not the "boom" type. A derivative, in simple terms, is the selling or buying the risk of the underlying instrument for a fixed payment. The underlying instrument can be anything from a bond to a mortgage to interest rates. I’m sure one or two of my friends or family would correct me on some technicality, but I’m also sure they’re too smart to waste their time reading this (or at least bothering to tell me). And it’s too bad my good friend Marc does not read this since he asks me every three months what a derivative is; then again, I might just reply back in the email with a link to this blog…
As an easy example, when you buy a house the bank loans you a lot of money (unless it’s a mobile home, but will forget that for the moment). If you refuse to pay them after the second month they get the house back, but as we all know the house might have damage to it or be worth less than you paid for it, and the bank will also incur costs trying to resell it – they will lose money in almost all circumstances.
To reduce that risk, or hedge against you not paying, they could create a derivative whereby they sell the “risk” of you not paying your mortgage to some fool (and the world has plenty of them – points at AIG, Iceland, and Freddie Mac) for $50 a month. In the event you stop paying and the bank forecloses, the buyer of the derivative has to pay the bank the difference between what the house is finally resold at and what was outstanding on the mortgage. In essence, the maximum amount of money the bank can lose is the $50 a month payment which was built into your interest rate anyway. The house never loses unless your Bank of America and loved holding those subprime mortgages.
Why would anyone buy the risk aka derivative from the bank? They are gambling that the chance you do not pay your mortgage is small and they will buy enough derivatives to cover those that do go into foreclosure that they will come out making money. In affect, they are betting that the same company that issued the mortgages somehow miscalcuated the risk of foreclosure and is paying more in fixed payments than they should. Yeah right!
Clear as mud right?
I have a big break-out post, the post that will be renown throughout the interwebs as the blog post for which all other posts will be judged. Unfortunately I haven't started it yet. To bridge the gap and at least make it a weekly blog I present you with big news about me - as the blog Narcissistic Musings should.
As all three or four of you who read my blog (I have to artificially pump up the numbers for the advertisers) already know, I'm switching jobs starting next Monday. I'll be working at BP, a large energy company (4th largest in the world to be precise) in their trading division. They are starting an IT team in the Financial Products trading group which trades derivatives to hedge against existing trades made by other trading groups.
As many of you may recall, derivatives are what made the world go boom last year, however the types of trades this group does are not the "boom" type. A derivative, in simple terms, is the selling or buying the risk of the underlying instrument for a fixed payment. The underlying instrument can be anything from a bond to a mortgage to interest rates. I’m sure one or two of my friends or family would correct me on some technicality, but I’m also sure they’re too smart to waste their time reading this (or at least bothering to tell me). And it’s too bad my good friend Marc does not read this since he asks me every three months what a derivative is; then again, I might just reply back in the email with a link to this blog…
As an easy example, when you buy a house the bank loans you a lot of money (unless it’s a mobile home, but will forget that for the moment). If you refuse to pay them after the second month they get the house back, but as we all know the house might have damage to it or be worth less than you paid for it, and the bank will also incur costs trying to resell it – they will lose money in almost all circumstances.
To reduce that risk, or hedge against you not paying, they could create a derivative whereby they sell the “risk” of you not paying your mortgage to some fool (and the world has plenty of them – points at AIG, Iceland, and Freddie Mac) for $50 a month. In the event you stop paying and the bank forecloses, the buyer of the derivative has to pay the bank the difference between what the house is finally resold at and what was outstanding on the mortgage. In essence, the maximum amount of money the bank can lose is the $50 a month payment which was built into your interest rate anyway. The house never loses unless your Bank of America and loved holding those subprime mortgages.
Why would anyone buy the risk aka derivative from the bank? They are gambling that the chance you do not pay your mortgage is small and they will buy enough derivatives to cover those that do go into foreclosure that they will come out making money. In affect, they are betting that the same company that issued the mortgages somehow miscalcuated the risk of foreclosure and is paying more in fixed payments than they should. Yeah right!
Clear as mud right?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
All About Me
I have to come clean - this is not the first time I have written a blog. About a year ago I had a fantastic idea: write a blog that was so narcissisticly over the top that it would be funny. I added pictures of myself with my family and friends, but would black out all the faces except mine. I referred to myself in the third person. I never strayed from anything but myself and how I felt about anything. I even added a poll where the list of answers all basically said "me". I thought it was absolutely hilarious and giggled while I wrote it.
I admit I was apprehensive since it was a little edgy. To ensure that it would indeed be received as I had planned, I showed it to a friend. The look of horror on their face was enough; the blog was shut down after only three posts. Turns out "edgy" was the wrong word to describe it.
That said I refuse to believe that the name of that blog, Narcissistic Musings, is anything short of a brilliant name for a blog. I'm so confident in that belief that I have kept it for this blog too. After all, lets me intellectually honest with ourselves (or me in this case)... blogs are intended to be about the beliefs, travels, trials, and travesties of ourselves. In the end who can't admit wondering if the short period we are here if it isn't all about me?
I admit I was apprehensive since it was a little edgy. To ensure that it would indeed be received as I had planned, I showed it to a friend. The look of horror on their face was enough; the blog was shut down after only three posts. Turns out "edgy" was the wrong word to describe it.
That said I refuse to believe that the name of that blog, Narcissistic Musings, is anything short of a brilliant name for a blog. I'm so confident in that belief that I have kept it for this blog too. After all, lets me intellectually honest with ourselves (or me in this case)... blogs are intended to be about the beliefs, travels, trials, and travesties of ourselves. In the end who can't admit wondering if the short period we are here if it isn't all about me?
Monday, March 8, 2010
Don't Get Cornered
Russell, my brother in law, writes the blog Corner Pieces about the random events in his life. Most of his posts are about his daughters (not coincidentally my nieces) which itself lends itself to humorous topics, however he has a real knack adding hilarious bits and pieces into each post. If you met him in real life you'd see that he is as funny in person as on the blog.
My goals for this blog are two fold: create an outlet for my creativity that, lets be honest here, very few will read and to give those readers a smile or two in each post. You might be asking what happens when you bottle up all that creativity. After many years - first grade in my case - of doing just that I can convincingly say not much. However releasing it in many alternative ways (did I mention the bad paintings in the prior post) has allowed me to channel any ill emotions I might have to something constructive. Not that those emotions would go to anything destructive, but it releases them much more quickly.
Making others smile is much trickier. I'm a firm believer that you either have it or you don't when it comes to humor. Putting it to paper (or my screen in this case) is much harder since the reader doesn't get to hear my voice inflections or see me grin to know when it's time laugh; it might end up being one of those polite smiles, but in my own mind's eye I know they are curling up laughing on the inside.
I hope and plan on keeping most of the posts here less serious and more light-hearted so that a bit of humor can seep into them. After all, I don't want to put myself into a corner where that smile can't be sought after.
My goals for this blog are two fold: create an outlet for my creativity that, lets be honest here, very few will read and to give those readers a smile or two in each post. You might be asking what happens when you bottle up all that creativity. After many years - first grade in my case - of doing just that I can convincingly say not much. However releasing it in many alternative ways (did I mention the bad paintings in the prior post) has allowed me to channel any ill emotions I might have to something constructive. Not that those emotions would go to anything destructive, but it releases them much more quickly.
Making others smile is much trickier. I'm a firm believer that you either have it or you don't when it comes to humor. Putting it to paper (or my screen in this case) is much harder since the reader doesn't get to hear my voice inflections or see me grin to know when it's time laugh; it might end up being one of those polite smiles, but in my own mind's eye I know they are curling up laughing on the inside.
I hope and plan on keeping most of the posts here less serious and more light-hearted so that a bit of humor can seep into them. After all, I don't want to put myself into a corner where that smile can't be sought after.
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